6:07 p.m.

I had an epiphany.

You may think - well, duh!

But it was an epephany to me ... I CAN do this.

I looked in the mirror.

I look like shit.

I look wrung out.

I look like a heroin addict that's coming down from their high.

I really do.

Pasty, pail, dark circles, licking my lips.

Know what? I hate that I look like this because of a drug.

I don't want to ever look like this again.

I am determined to find what normal is for me without smoking.

I am totally convinced I will be addicted to the gum, but I know I'll eventually not be.

I am willing to swap one for the other.

"They" say nicotine is the addicting thing in cigarettes...if that was true, then why do I feel like such shit and look like such shit if I'm putting nicotine into my body, but only through a different method.

I don't believe that nicotine is the only thing that one gets addicted to.

I believe that it's ALSO all the other SHIT they put in the cigarettes.